When couples fight over money, it’s usually because the spender and the saver don’t see eye to eye.
Tips for keeping the peace:
CHOOSE YOU MOMENTS Financial discussions turn sour when emotions run high and personal attacks hit low, say Richard Geist of Harvard Medical School’s psychiatry department and author of “Investor Therapy. Instead of pointing fingers, set a time to talk and express concerns beforehand in an e-mail or typed letter, which can be read and considered free of friction.
LIST YOUR PLANS Most financial tiffs are triggered by divergent views of how money should be spent, says financial planner Sharon Rich. Team up by listing mutual goals and major future expenses such as retirement or purchase of a holiday home. Then weigh the reality of monthly bills and spending patterns against those goals. “This sobering exercise usually gets the spender to police their impulses,” says Sharon Rich.
CAP THE REWARDS Most people who spend beyond their family’s means feel they deserve sizable rewards for the stress and strain of everyday life. Agree that items costing more than a set amount will be discussed before purchase and evaluated against monthly expenses. Live, love and laugh. Live long and prosper.
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